uoa:
do you ever tell people you’ll be going to sleep but then you don’t and you have to not do anything noticable online for the sake of it seeming as if you didn’t lie to them
(via drunkhook)
iwilleatyourenglish
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police
(via life-of-a-youtube-fangirl)
shaktilover
"Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive."
(Source: shaktilover, via twohoneybees)
larmoyante
"I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them."
(Source: larmoyante, via twohoneybees)
sherlocksmyth
one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside
when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again
(via life-of-a-youtube-fangirl)
